what did i know?

what did i know?

i thought life was forever, in the sense of living.  but life is for the living.  a priceless, unexplainable gift and necessity that i don’t think we fully understand.  actually, not even close.  our own understanding fails us because we cannot possibly be expected to understand, nor would we probably want to understand the depth of living in the sense that God may and does know.

we are, though, expected to live.

to live in the fullest sense and each day we must remind ourselves of this high regard, the gift to live.

we must work at even reminding ourselves.  the simple things, it is the simple things.  over and over again, whisper this to yourself.  over and over again, shout this, write this, whatever - as long as you get it.  as long as i myself get it, right?  even to breathe correctly feels amazing - anything less feels like a rip off.  but once you have experienced that perfect breathe going away, only then do you actually realize how perfect that breath really was!  same with everything.  be so appreciative of any and everything you have had, have, or will have.  things change, take on different form and we have to constantly learn to let go - but really we have to constantly adjust and re-calibrate our balance of understanding this life and how we fit into it.  we, then, have to accept this new place we may be in - whether we want to or not.

taking it a day at a time, one sweet, beautiful day at a time.

and these things!  these crazy little things (that of course we feel our HUGE things) take our time away, trip us up and throw us off balance.   what a waster of good days, eh?  in the whole scheme of life, are they really that important?  that detrimental?  i’m gonna say...probably not!  i say screw ‘em!

don’t, i repeat, don’t let these little life wasters suck your  energy and your life’s appreciation away.

embrace and embrace some more!  hug your little (and awesome) life’s neck and love on it every day my friend.  because, after all, what else ya got going on that is so much more important?

thank you LORD!  

something beautiful.

something beautiful.

my home is where my heart
rises and sits,
rests and is secure.
above the waves
and validation,
past the petty
and uncivilized.
it rises.
though those black stripes
try to pin my flesh,
they only shackle
and mark the surface.

make me into something, beautiful.

the artist's way and vows

the artist's way and vows

the artist's way:  walking in this world ---->
to walk in this world, to follow the artist's way - one must walk with his head high and his hands digging deep and searching low ... the energy of the soul must be strong.  deep, strong, pure, vigorous energy - positive channeling that would manifest itself to good fruits in your walk, in your life.  to walk where you must to follow - one must give up and at the same time gain life ... a constant cycle, a constant battle of balancing - a constant balancing of of change and repetition.

we live, we grow, we learn, we change, we are molded and we mold.  we embark, we hide, we seek, we find, we lend, we take, we sleep, we wake - we live.  we all can live but what is it to truly walk, to truly climb or to truly dig ... either of these actions, no matter what, indicate that you are going somewhere and/or finding something or seeing something new - you are not stagnant.  to me, that is truly walking in this world and following the artist's way.

VOW:
to look, to seek, to find, to be passionate, to be confident yet humble, to stand strong and love softly, to persevere, to be conscience and aware, to be of service, to share, to learn, to leap, to dive, to trust, to be true, to walk against the tide, to walk on the wild side, to be different, to love your enemies, to love yourself, to make changes, to be courageous, to not be judgmental, to accept what you cannot change, to reject what is not good for you, to love life and your own walk, to never ever give up, to always try your hardest.

things i've learned as i've aged

things i've learned as i've aged

1.  things always change
2.  you learn to be more graceful with yourself
3.  you don't know what you thought you knew
4.  forgiving becomes easier
5.  you learn to love exactly who you are
6.  you definitely learn that you are not invincible

possibilites

possibilites

softness,
rapidly tumbled down
and shocked my spine.
my head trembled and i
was unaware,
possibilities.
they ran wild.
covered in doubt,
worry pierced
my schedule.

the surface of us

the surface of us

beauty in my mind sits with the simple oddities.  the surface of things is appealing, but what's really of interest is why the surface is and how has it happened?  the same is with people, what's going on on the inside so much, that eventually what has been formulated within has transpired to the surface.  you cannot only look at a persons face, but deep in their eyes, the way their hands have worn, do they have wrinkles that tell secrets of much laughter through their life?  the routines and life lines of any given person act as a grid, eventually forming the future, their future perspective of life, and most definitely how they will handle it.  what instances are so in depth, so astounding, that they can change the course of a life?  it changes who they were suppose to become.  they were either given a new chance, or in a moment, their chance was taken.  i'm guessing these changes come from great losses, the most profound ones at least.  they are earned from great gains as well.  or they can be set in motion by lack of gains or losses, and the voice of repetition causes a great change.  because in human life, drama is essential to the growth of who we are becoming.  things need to change, events happen to stir up emotion, that hence forth calls upon action, which comes before change.  so this drama, these changes are reflected, eventually, into the surface of any individual.  it is written all over them.

so, the way you feel about life will show up on your face :)

know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

things seem to get complicated, life these days.

learning when to push forward, pull back, or stay put ... isn't quite as easy as it once was.  maybe because we become more aware of the domino effect.  one thing always leads to the next and the course of difficulty (sometimes) is seriously deciding which direction you would like to go ... and a lot of things just seem to happen on their own (sort of) and you learn how to adjust your life accordingly and your perception too.  amazing where you are led when you don't fight it, but rather embrace it and just adjust your perception.  learning to listen and act on the inner voice is a skill that i acquire more everyday ... and a blessing.

bounce back

bounce back

what beat.
what step.
i do take you,
at leisure,
when i want.
commitment,
no.
back bone,
sometimes.
the heart i need,
the bounce back -
please.

saddle up

saddle up

life tumbles,
it rolls and repeats
itself
into spells
returns, revisits
peeking at
yesterday
resembling
tomorrow
saddles up,
prepares you
and wipes
you out
then you
wake up,
again.