up there

up there

i can feel the pulse, the warmth and
the sudden spells of coolness,
the air seems to fly and dance around the planes of my flesh
relaxed and with spirit
i am thinking
comfortably

i'm thinking of story books and fairy tales and creatures from beyond
if they truly
can exist, within our memories, or if
they are just a twinkle of hope for the taking,
then fleeting, they go

i'm dream, dreaming so big, so wide
i'm actually convincing myself it could be so,
all of it could be so, will be
but, i do, just sit

it is in there, up there
that i fully flourish
and follow through
it is easy, it is natural
up, above and beyond
the being

every idea is so thick, so full of kinetic energy
it permeates through
and into my veins, spreading continuously
like waves onto a beach,
as if it were to never stop.

life changing

life changing

HOPE ( No. 1)


you look like
fire
and brim stone
your eyes
well up
like pools,
reflections
of some truth.

i see you
laying there,
tangled and pulled and bent and gnarled,
dripping and oozing
with life,
hope.

we think
you are
recognizing
voices,
faces.

hallelujah,
i say hallelujah!




WHOLE (No. 2)


chatter of emergencies
and wrecks and tests,
wind blowing my hair,
paper and cigarette butts,
change rattling,
humming ...
i hear,
gentle humming.

waiting.

w a i t i n g.

we're waiting,
but blessed.
blessed with hope.
blessed with heart.

in the middle,
we started.

praying, knowing
what we wished ...
that you'd wave,
blink an eye ...

move, please move.

wake up,
heal up,
come back to us,
WHOLE.



A PLAN?  (No. 3)


metal chunked and twisted
fast cars and liquor
don't fix
anything.

leftovers on pavement,
we wished you would
have stayed!

lines, bubbles, machines
all pacing,
helping you, stay
with us.

it plays continuously
in my memory,
continuously burdening
my heart ...

to go back
and make you
stay.

but, i could not,
you could not
and you walked where you must
in god's plan.

because ...
god does have a plan,
for you.



THE MUSIC (No. 4)


music in your ears,
hear, do you hear me?

music in your heart,
feel, do you feel me?

music in your eyes,
see, do you see me?

i need you to wake up
and hear the music.

i need you to wake up
and feel my presence.

i need you to wake up
and see me
standing,
up, for you.

tell me
that you
know me,
knowing you,
knowing me.

tell me
the music hasn't stopped.



***the life changing poems are very dear to my heart.  i wrote these within a week or so after july 31, 2011, but just getting around to sharing them.  this day was life changing for many people, especially two of my dear friends.  they were hit by a drunk driver and their lives, along with their families and friends, were forever changed.  i will never forget that night or all the months that came after ... never.  it has changed me.  it is a miracle that they are both alive today, but the journey has been a long and challenging one and the journey is not over.  i don't want to go into more details, but the ones that experienced this with us will know what it was like, what it is like.  there was so much intense energy at the ER and ICU during that first week, as well as the many months after ...  i just started writing a bit about the energy i felt from myself and others around me.  we were all joined with similar energy and hope and constant prayer.  these are for my friends and their families.  i love you guys.

you never know, when in an instant, life as you know it will change, forever.  take hold of the beauty and blessings today and don't take anyone or anything for granted.  make your self this promise.  i have.