the home bound song
i feelthe home bound song,
the start that meets up
with the finish,
the road,
along,
all a blur.
Posts
SPRING STUDIO SALE!
13 years ago
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
life and death, do not fear
*old journal entry found from june 24, 2011
i think i understand what this world is made of and what it may have to offer ... half the time.
it's full of questions and answers, actions and reactions, meaning and meaninglessness.
in due time, it has the power to humble and set straight even the loudest of characters. for when we are born, we set in motion our death ... and all the ounces in between, of this great weight, is in the living. birth, living, death.
i just read somewhere, according to some grande studies, that most do not ponder this is their life, unless their life has come to a crossroads where they, indeed, intersect death in some form. only then, do they gain back their memory of death.
i don't know if i'm an exception, or i'm morbid or something (well, i think not, for i know thyself), but i think of this natural process often. i try to find meaning as to why i understand this cycle, most days, i think i know. my conclusion is that we must not shy away from it, because in due time, well at anytime, it's confidently ours for the taking. to pretend otherwise, i believe, is just foolish and, well, will leave too much shell shock if allowed to burst in all at one time.
my other conclusion is reason, logic, and understanding of natural order in this life, (we'll talk about empathy later). everything has this order; and everything cycles. i'm obsessed with change; it's many forms, it's meaning, the questions of why. and it's been answered: because. because that's the way it is. it works. what's most fascinating is watching these changes and seeing (right away or a ways down the line) ... the ripple affect. ever heard of the story that one butterfly's flap of wing can possibly cause great change all the way across the world. just imagine!
can we control this change? no. what? are we not supposed to let that little butterfly fly? of course not, fly and run your course, we would advise. same with us, fly and run your course. trust in the process, do not fear it. but i believe, in order not to fear it, we have to face it, accept it, understand it the best way we can. to pretend it's not there is a grave mistake ... and, well, useless.
i think by the end of it, we will have to change in so many ways. it's a process of embracing and then, letting go. a life of learning this is awaiting you, whether you like it or not. a fact in my book.
so, in order to face this, accept this, understand this - we first may have to recognize why we may fear it. i think a lot of things are tangled and tied into this fear ... but all these things will have to change, take on new form, and be embraced for what they are in order to face the fear ... without the fear.
it's tangled in meaning and purpose and assumptions. we all live by these and are somewhat uniquely defined by the way we define and live by our own meanings, purpose, and assumptions. i feel what gets in the way are very simple things, yet they act so profoundly as stumbling blocks in gaining this perspective and, then, we have to learn how to release it properly. vanity, pride, selfishness, self and/or society induced importance. these are serious and how you understand them can cause great affliction or great relief. all of them interwoven precariously in our own perception of ourselves vs. the world.
so, with that said, let's clear something up, now pay attention, for this is very important:
we are all equal. we are ALL on the same playing field. always. every last person that is alive, that came before you and will come after you ... all on the same playing field. ALL = SAME.
this will shoot your vanity , pride, self importance down, for sure, and with great hope. don't get me wrong, you are important and were created with a purpose ... but you are not THAT important. and that's completely OKAY.
okay, yes, you are different and, yes, your life holds value ... but no more than the rest of us. so, i'm sure some of you reading already get this ... and if so, let this be affirmation. for the others, please take note and do not let this discourage, but encourage.
this is a very encouraging insight.
now is the time to step outside of yourself and understand you are part of a whole. a PART.
so, this is how it happens.
inspired by this lady on a documentary ....
"so, this is how it happens, quick, painless"
"i imagine my next birthday, again and again and again"
will our mind save us for what is to come?
can i wish myself into the next year, the next decade?
death comes to us in our dreams
casting a white shadow
how is it death will visit you in dreams
before it takes you?
why?
like we've ordered a train ticket
and the conductor is sending us a
friendly reminder?
don't forget about your trip
don't forget you are leaving
leaving, everything
this is depressing.
the reality of NO control
no scheduling
no tomorrow
and you finally understand,
life will go on
without you.
a little more.
sell yourself short of glory and harmony, thou shalt cut off thy tongue girl. be gracious in acceptance and loss, therefore i am with you and you shalt not remain in pain. pain is of the moment to pull the loins away from the meat. sinking down and feeling of fire and rage will tell you something you once knew, help you put a piece together. you'll have to do this one for yourself and go through alone. you can go alone. it will be okay.then you will know ... a little more.
a full meal
in the remainder, the left over,maybe even the thrown out -
in those eye opening glimpses
of a just created past - it sits.
it waits, its gone.
you wonder what you've lost or
gained, what you've learned, and
all that you've failed at, the
people you've let down. ever
so happily to sit in the
moment, but it goes, leaves,
always moving.
rarely do we sit and really
understand where life has
taken us - all the left overs
still remaining from full meals.
stay alive
i somehow needto separate myself
back, inward, to
what i see or
what i do.
my joys for this life,
my love to love,
to experience
to seek.
not falling short
of dreams,
but to chase after
in wild abandonment.
not worrying
if they'll die,
but if they've had
a chance to live.
it is more focused
what is within,
the woman to become
the woman not
to become.
not rationalizing
what i seek
or want
not going after
vanity or
greed,
but only for the
purest form
to feel alive,
to love,
to be free.
the new year
morning has comeon the new day
seems same as before
in the yesteryear.
but change has awoken
like it always does
coming to take us
for the new year has begun.
blessings are promised
we have great hope
all polished and shiny
to help guide us through.
i'll fly away
i know how to flyand they let me keep my wings.
sensed with precautions
perhaps so, but the
wind carries none the less.
so, to go, i will.
see you up there,
i'll be waiting
riding high on glory and song.
a place of cover,
of warmth and love.
in peace you'll see ...
where we've been and
we'll come.
to see o'er the mountain tops
and the beauty beyond.
indiana
traveling these mountain roadson our way to old times
taking us back how they use to think
we'll see things have changed
how far we've all come.
she'll take you where she use to go
and how they use to say
times were tough, we made it through
life gets harder and the blues always stay
back in my day, she'll say.
when rubber meets asphalt
you know we're on our way
to the see back country
and old kinfolk
friends we use to know.
tides rush
the river tides rush,spill out onto the banks.
life runs with it.
flowing, breathing into the land.
the earth is bountiful
and beautiful.
the rush.
i love it.
it does not stop,
forever living
and pulling life with it.
i hold on, i do
things seem a bit stale,tasty, but been on the shelf too long.
the summer's sun may help.
expectations seem like buzz killers
... or is that wisdom?
sunny side up or half glass empty?
each day i decide,
sometimes the wrong side of the bed i wake.
thank god, always, for another day.
the heart of a child
... holding on,
praying not to be left behind.
the pureness those eyes see,
the simplicities they love, constantly
and it's freshness remains.
i awake in your arms,
with hope, i hold on, i do.
these new nerves are starting
to build a fortress and
bridge throughout,
frantically;
calm me
help me to see peace
encircle it around me.
i want my eyes to see it,
my hands to hold it
so that my heart may give it.
i believe in the song
i believe in the song.a passage of time
passage of rights
define the beginning
to an end.
but the genesis starts
in the moment of now
the end had just passed
and the wheel turns.
intensity, perplexity exists within our realms
existing so rarely,
evolving so tighly.
fore fathers
sureness in the single strideof my fore fathers.
wanting to rid of their rituals,
i do not hold them tightly in my own grasp.
to see where their minds have led,
their future in the past.
lend me your guidance.
show me where you have tread,
but say no more of my own steps.
it is anew.
it is a beginning unlike no other.
the past is dead,
but still breathes and walks before us.
the future lingers,
shrinks back in a cave
until at once
it has leaped out and ran
all the way home, the past.
the past sits still,
scares away the coming of age
and yields the future once more
into the days of yesterday.
no glory looking back
and little reward peering ahead.
i sit in the space, this space.
it's all i can comprehend,
for now.
along for the ride
in a new year - the train comes too fast,
we've already passed through
several towns and i haven't seen the first tree.
no oxygen abounds here then, i guess.
the train comes too fast, even though we sit
completely still. the world outside,
is moving, coming too fast, not ready
to say goodbye.
we should never have to say goodbye
to those we love -
but that train comes too fast.
WE, are not the conductor.
just a passenger, my friend.
just a passenger
a rose is just a rose
the clock ticks, days are nights, and dreams are real.
the room is changing, the windows are expanding, a door is open.
the face ahead knows my heart, eyes that look inside.
it knows no one like your self, within it, you are whole.
face uncertainty, you shall not, for you now know who you are.
that is the dream that rides with it, safe in the heart of soul.
the hands hold no barriers, fingers open, and stretched wide.
reaching for nothing, for the want soflty subsides.
and the open bucket, full to retain, drains back into you.
rose and set
a new year has come, a new year has set like the sun.
the waves washed over us, cooling, salty.
the sun rose, the sun set.
birds came back, migration long and necessary.
home again, they sit in the sun.
the sun rose, the sun set.
trees came alive, blossomed to perfection.
the birds shared their branches.
the sun rose, the sun set.
leaves to shed, they hit the ground.
bugs spent their last days flying,
swarmed up and buzzed out.
the sun rose, the sun set.
coolness set the air's tone, wind whispered its power.
cold had come.
the sun rose, the sun set.
mind the gap
thoughtless words travel our air,thinking too much,
we bullshit ourselves into thinking
we breath in god - better yet,
"we are god".
we pity and ponder,
worry and feel sorrow
and in a second,
we have all the answers.
but in a blink of an eye,
no cares will come,
no cares have been...
we pity and ponder,
worry and feel sorrow
and in a second,
we have all the answers.
but in a blink of an eye,
no cares will come,
no cares have been...
and the memories,
they but vanish with you.
for you are but a grain of sand
that once landed
and sat in the sun
only to be carried away
by one gust of wind.
eternally you once lived,
but now you never were.
they but vanish with you.
for you are but a grain of sand
that once landed
and sat in the sun
only to be carried away
by one gust of wind.
eternally you once lived,
but now you never were.
monday
phenomenal,at glances i understand the way it works.
like a clock wound up
it sets forth in motion.
tracking time like a bombshell
or a big surprise.
infinity surpasses us. it is beyond us
until
we can only grasp
the particles
that are left in the wind
after it flies by.
thirst
you swallow the spitfrom your dry
mouth
holding onto that
last drop of
wetness,
moisture on your tongue
into your belly
trying
to quench the
thirst,
always quenching
the thirst.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
